Food Fascination

Having grown up in a hometown that had a very strong presence of Mexican food, I can say one of the things that I truly and utterly miss is the taco-truck tacos that my friends and I would grab afternoons during lunchtime and chow down on while rushing to get back to school. There was always some secret to the meat that just made those things amazing to eat. Now, I’ve had my fair share of the packaged-seasoning neon-orange taco meat mixes, and I will admit some of them are not too bad. However, it is not only more tasty, but much much less expensive to mix up your own taco meat (not to mention a heck of a lot more healthy).

So, to start, let’s examine what, exactly, is in your basic name-brand taco seasoning mix. Listed in order, the ingredients are:
Chili Pepper
Cumin
Oregano
Red Pepper
Onion
Milk Whey Solids
Salt
Sugar
Paprika
Garlic
Potato Starch
and Citric Acid

They get a few things right - first, they actually include garlic, onion, chili pepper, and cumin. All good, solid mexican spices that lead to a tasty taco.
They get several things wrong, too, though. For example: Milk Whey Solids. Milk? In a taco? They do this so when you mix water in with the seasoning, everything will thicken and your tacos won’t be too watery. Ditto for the potato starch. The salt and sugar are not really needed, and in there because, well, they make *everything* in a package more attractive to human taste buds (430 mg of sodium for every 2 tacos - with 500 mg recommended daily.) Also, what the heck on garlic being one of the last ingredients? That’s just not cool - Mexican food should be full of flavor, as spicy (or not) as you want it, and have a definitely garlicy taste.

So, let’s one-up this package of Taco Death and mix up our own seasoning. You’ll need:
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 medium white or yellow onion (as I’ve talked about before, white onion has a sweeter flavor, while yellow onion is your classic “oniony” taste)
3-8 cloves garlic, peeled and diced (Yes, that is a lot of garlic. The pre-peeled and packed in olive oil also taste pretty good, if you don’t feel like peeling it all yourself. Try to stay away from garlic powder, though.)
2 baby carrots or 1 small peeled carrot, minced(Carrot adds a depth to the flavor by providing some natural sugar. It’s a good trick for a lot of spicy dishes, actually.)
1 pound ground beef (preferably 80/20 or 85/15. Check Homemade Burgers Done Right for why).
1 can diced tomatoes, or about 1 or 1 1/2 cups diced fresh tomatoes and 1/4 cup water
2-3 Tablespoons chili powder (If at all possible, get the stuff from a ethnic grocery store. It’s less expensive and more flavorful. This is where the heat comes from - so choose how much you want and the type carefully. If you’re not sure what you want, start with the mild stuff and work your way up from there.)
1 Tablespoon cumin
1-2 teaspoons lime juice (If you don’t have lime around, lemon will work as a substitute. This serves the same purpose as the “citric acid” in the premixed seasoning - helps keep things tasting fresh)
2 teaspoons freshly chopped cilantro
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon oregano - fresh or dried

In a large frying pan or heavy-bottomed dutch oven, saute the onions, garlic, and carrot in the olive oil until they’ve softened. Add the ground beef and cook over medium-high heat until the beef has mostly cooked through. Drain off all but a few tablespoons of the fat (do this either by literally straining the mixture or - more easily, push all the meat to one side, then use a large spoon to skim the fat off the other side.) Add the tomatoes and seasonings, cover, and let simmer over low heat for 10-30 minutes, adding water as necessary to keep the mixture from scorching. And that’s it - you should have a delicious, fresh-tasting taco meat that is leaps and bounds healthier and tastier than the mix stuff. And just as quickly.

For an easy, quick, simple-to-feed-a-group taco bar, lay out the meat along with warmed tortillas (wrap them in tinfoil and warm in a 200-degree oven while the meat is simmering, or individually warm them in a dry frying pan over medium heat), grated cheddar or colby-jack cheese, fresh romaine or butter lettuce, salsa, warmed corn niblets, sour cream, and homemade or deli-purchased guacamole.

Or, use taco meat in your favorite pasta casserole - or on burritos to freeze for your at-work lunches - or whatever else sounds good. If you’d like to freeze just the taco meat, put it in freezer-safe zipper lock plastic bags and toss in the freezer. Just defrost it on the stove over low heat instead of in the microwave - the microwave tends to make any ground beef very very chewy.

I live on a simple concept when it comes to summer cooking: if you’re going to do hamburgers at home, you might as well do them right. Don’t settle for a slab of (even really good) ground meat on a store-bought sponge-like bun. So get the grill fired up (even if it’s a George Foreman) and make a burger that’s worth it.

First, use gloves and just dig into the meat. Forget being delicate and trying to mix things with a spoon. Throw it in a bowl and squish it up like you were a kid playing with clay.

Second, step away from the bbq sauce! It’s perfectly fine to slather your burger in the stuff, but don’t mix it directly in with the raw meat - the moisture and sugar content will char your burger long before it’s truly tasty.

Third, cook it to perfection - whatever you consider “perfection” to be. Medium-well (160 degrees internal temperature) is a good starting place. Stick a meat thermometer in the center of the burger and give it a minute or so to register.

Fourth, Experiment! It’s a burger for gosh sakes - so take what you love and give it a try. If it doesn’t work, you haven’t wasted all that much.

Fifth, don’t be afraid of a little fat. Sure, the 97/3 meat (that’s 97% “meat” and 3% fat) in your grocer’s meat case seems tempting - only 3% fat? In hamburger? Don’t be so quick to say “sign me up”. That is because the fat in meat is what actually gives it flavor. Without some fat, the meat becomes dry, tough, and cardboard-like. Most of the flavoring happens as the fat is cooking OUT of the meat anyway, so as long as you don’t save the drippings of the ground beef and pour them all over your potatoes, you’ll be fine. Go for 90/10 or 85/15 - the burgers will cook down a bit smaller, but it’ll be worth it.

So what to mix in? If you’re mixing in cheese, use a dry cheese like grated Parmesan (save the cheddar for a burger-topper). Just about any spice or seasoning that you wouldn’t find in a cookie is worth a try (forget the nutmeg - try basil.) Go light on the salt and let the other flavors come through. Small amounts of liquid are fine, just don’t use more than 3 Tablespoons per 1/2 pound of beef. And try out veggies! Chopped onions are a classic, but give green onions, or chopped garlic, a chance!

My personal favorites on seasoning combinations (all using about 1 pound of ground round):
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
several good sprinkles of:
Basil
Thyme
Oregano
Garlic powder
Pepper
and the lightest touch of salt.

Or:
1/4 cup soy sauce (usually I go for low-sodium)
Rosemary
Chopped onions
Chopped garlic
Ground white pepper

Of course, a well-prepared bun is just as important when you’re talking shop of a good burger. Get a bakery bun, or make a pan of rolls. Then slice them in half, spread some melted butter on the top, and set them under a broiler for a few minutes, until they’re turning golden brown. Or, if you’re on the grill, just invert them over the heat. Either way, a well-toasted bun is the best way to top your masterpiece.

Why can’t I add pineapple, kiwi, gingerroot, papaya, figs, oranges, or guava to my Jell-O?

Because carrots are too darn tasty.

OK, I kid. Kind of. I grew up very close to the Green Jell-O capital of the world (Utah, for those of you playing at home) and was sadly exposed to the “we can put anything in Jell-O and it qualifies as a dessert!” mindset. Thus we had green Jell-O with carrot shreds and marshmallows on top (because mini-marshmallows make anything a dessert too).

Enough, however, about my childhood torture. Despite those inauspicious beginnings, I actually rather enjoy the jiggly wiggly gelatin treat, be it brand name or otherwise. I even like it without alcohol mixed right in! As carrots taught me, however, there are some things that simply could not or should not go into gelatin, because it ruins the wonderfully odd texture.

The way gelatin does its work comes from the protein it is constructed of. The structures of the protein are easily broken down and rearranged, mostly based on temperature. Thus hot water melts the powder and breaks down the protein structure, and when the gelatin is cooled, the proteins grab onto one another again and create the gel - like substance that we call Jell-O.

Gelatin is made from collagen (not the hooves and horns of cows, although it is an animal-based product - vegetarians and vegans beware). Collagen is very sensitive to acids, because the protein structure is so fluid, they are easily broken down. All the fruits listed are very acidic, and so the proteins won’t be able to find each other and form bonds, no matter how long you leave them in the fridge. However, if you *do* want to be able to add fruit to your Jell-O, try sliced bananas, apple chunks, or grapes. Basically any fruit that doesn’t make you slightly pucker when you put it in your mouth (it’s the acid that does this) should be OK to at least try.

On a slightly related side note, having a box of gelatin around is not a bad idea. Just the unflavored stuff - it will do amazing things for the texture of your meatloaf. Don’t believe me? Here’s the deal - collagen is that gristly stuff in most meats - the stuff that, other than fat, makes up the white marbalizing streaks in full cuts of non-ground-up meat. Pot roast (rump… cow butt) cuts are famous for this. When you cook collagen for a long time at a low temperature (as you are supposed to do with pot roast) the gristly stuff turns into gelatin, which gives roast beef and pot roast that smooth, almost creamy fall-apart texture. So don’t turn up the heat, and don’t force it, and you’ll love the texture.

Of course, cooking meat loaf for a long time at a low temperature would lead to a brick for dinner. However, a teaspoon or so of unflavored gelatin in your meat loaf recreates this effect. Don’t go overboard, or you’ll end up with what appears to be Jell-O with meat. Even worse than carrots.

Oh, and for those of you who imbibe and are still stuck on my “alcohol mixed in” comment a few paragraphs above, try the college-student thing and make flavored gelatin according to box directions, but replace the cold water with cold liquor - rum and vodka make good choices - pour into small once-sized cups, and refridgerate for the classic Jell-O shot.