• 20Dec

    As a “Day Job,” I work in the creative department of a mediumish company in Spokane. More often than not, we end up having conversations that may as well be titled “Cooking With Creative” - because to some extent and at different levels, all of us in the department are foodies. Today the question of seasoning a wood bowl came up.

    Wooden dishes, unlike glass or metal, do need a small amount of attention and care to get the longest possible useful life out of them. This is also true of wooden cutting boards and butcher blocks. Because wood begins as a living plant instead of a static material (such as metal ore or sand), it’s cells continue to react to the environment it’s placed in. Wood will warp, expand, contract, crack, and absorb odors, especially if kept in a kitchen. However, an easy way to protect against this and extend the life of your woodware is to season it.

    Much like you would season a cast-iron pan, seasoning wood is about filling the pores with something of your choosing, rather than allowing the cells to absorb whatever they come in contact with. Oil repels both odors and liquids while helping to maintain a moisture balance in the wood, preventing warping and cracking. However, please, as someone speaking from unfortunate experience, do not use your usual cooking oil! Olive oil, vegetable oil, and most cooking oils all go rancid after time, and you end up with a very sour, fairly bacteria-filled substance that has seeped through your woodware. In the end, your options are to either grind it down and basically start again, or throw it away and buy a new one - neither option is very inexpensive or fun.

    So what do you use? There are several schools of thought out there as to what, exactly, to season the wood with, but I have always (and continue) to prefer mineral oil. This is a food-grade oil that does not go rancid, has no taste, and no smell. There are some who say walnut oil is another option, and it is - however, I am hesitant to use it because there are those with very severe nut allergies, and should they eat something prepared on or served in a walnut-oil seasoned dish, it could be dangerous. Walnut oil is also significantly more expensive.

    So, start by heading to your pharmacy section at the grocery store. You’ll find the mineral oil in with the laxitives. Now don’t get scared! You won’t get the runs from seasoning your wood with this oil - it takes several tablespoons for that effect to be noticed, and a very tiny percentage of the oil, if any, will actually get on your food.

    Throughly wash and dry your woodware. Let it dry for a day or two. Then gently spread a very small amount of the mineral oil in and on the wooden surfaces. Let it dry for a few hours, and if it’s your first time seasoning it, then add another layer or two, letting it dry between each layer. Re-season the wood every month or two.

    This, of course, is the not-fanatical-about-it method. There are those who season every week. There are also those who refuse to use soap on seasoned wood. While it’s true that most of the time your salad bowl needs little more than wiping out with water, I am a HUGE fan of actually washing your cutting boards - too much nasty bacteria to kill if you cut meat or unwashed greens on those puppies.

    The other option you have is mineral oil with a bit of beeswax mixed in. While this will add some water repellency to your wood, the extra expense and effort doesn’t really outweigh the barely-noticeable benefits. Beeswax also leaves a slightly sweet smell, which could transfer to foods.

    Once your woodware is seasoned, be sure to keep it out of water unless you’re washing it (store cutting boards on their side so the bottom doesn’t soak in dishwater as it’s drying). Re-season it occasionally - the wood will slightly darken and the grain will stand out more as you go, but this is entirely natural.

    And above all, enjoy! Having beautiful (or even “just functional”) utensils for serving and preparing food is no good if you don’t actually use them!

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  • 20Dec

    Why can’t I add pineapple, kiwi, gingerroot, papaya, figs, oranges, or guava to my Jell-O?

    Because carrots are too darn tasty.

    OK, I kid. Kind of. I grew up very close to the Green Jell-O capital of the world (Utah, for those of you playing at home) and was sadly exposed to the “we can put anything in Jell-O and it qualifies as a dessert!” mindset. Thus we had green Jell-O with carrot shreds and marshmallows on top (because mini-marshmallows make anything a dessert too).

    Enough, however, about my childhood torture. Despite those inauspicious beginnings, I actually rather enjoy the jiggly wiggly gelatin treat, be it brand name or otherwise. I even like it without alcohol mixed right in! As carrots taught me, however, there are some things that simply could not or should not go into gelatin, because it ruins the wonderfully odd texture.

    The way gelatin does its work comes from the protein it is constructed of. The structures of the protein are easily broken down and rearranged, mostly based on temperature. Thus hot water melts the powder and breaks down the protein structure, and when the gelatin is cooled, the proteins grab onto one another again and create the gel - like substance that we call Jell-O.

    Gelatin is made from collagen (not the hooves and horns of cows, although it is an animal-based product - vegetarians and vegans beware). Collagen is very sensitive to acids, because the protein structure is so fluid, they are easily broken down. All the fruits listed are very acidic, and so the proteins won’t be able to find each other and form bonds, no matter how long you leave them in the fridge. However, if you *do* want to be able to add fruit to your Jell-O, try sliced bananas, apple chunks, or grapes. Basically any fruit that doesn’t make you slightly pucker when you put it in your mouth (it’s the acid that does this) should be OK to at least try.

    On a slightly related side note, having a box of gelatin around is not a bad idea. Just the unflavored stuff - it will do amazing things for the texture of your meatloaf. Don’t believe me? Here’s the deal - collagen is that gristly stuff in most meats - the stuff that, other than fat, makes up the white marbalizing streaks in full cuts of non-ground-up meat. Pot roast (rump… cow butt) cuts are famous for this. When you cook collagen for a long time at a low temperature (as you are supposed to do with pot roast) the gristly stuff turns into gelatin, which gives roast beef and pot roast that smooth, almost creamy fall-apart texture. So don’t turn up the heat, and don’t force it, and you’ll love the texture.

    Of course, cooking meat loaf for a long time at a low temperature would lead to a brick for dinner. However, a teaspoon or so of unflavored gelatin in your meat loaf recreates this effect. Don’t go overboard, or you’ll end up with what appears to be Jell-O with meat. Even worse than carrots.

    Oh, and for those of you who imbibe and are still stuck on my “alcohol mixed in” comment a few paragraphs above, try the college-student thing and make flavored gelatin according to box directions, but replace the cold water with cold liquor - rum and vodka make good choices - pour into small once-sized cups, and refrigerate for the classic Jell-O shot.

  • 04Dec

    I love pomegranates, but I can’t stand getting covered in purplish red juice everywhere. Help!

    I, too, used to have this problem! Pomegranates are wonderful to eat, and the shot of juice in a ruby-red seed is amazingly happy. However, digging the seeds out can be a messy, sticky fiasco.

    Easy solution - use the specific densities of the different bits of the fruit. Translation - slice into the skin enough to get a grip enough to crack it open. Submerge the entire thing in a large bowl full of water, then crack it open and begin to peel apart the seeds and pith. The seeds are heavier than water, because they contain natural sugars, but the rind and pith (the white stuff) is lighter than water, and will float to the top. The water rinses away any seeds you manage to break.

    Once you’ve torn apart the pomegranate, simply skim the pith and rind off the top, drain the water, and you’ve got a bowl full of fruity gems!

    Try using them as garnish on fruit salads, or eat them as an afternoon snack. Either way, it’s worth the effort.

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